As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases
'Thou art to pass over Jordan this day, to go in to possess nations greater and mightier than thyself, cities great and fenced up to heaven, a people great and tall...of whom thou hast heard say, Who can stand before the children of Anak! Understand therefore this day, that the LORD thy God is he which goeth before thee...'
Deuteronomy 9:1-3
I completely had the wind knocked out of my sails this morning!
The words that threw me were these,
'Fear not'.
There is no qualification, no exception, no modification; it is as plain a command as 'thou shalt not steal'...why should what seems only a natural infirmity be catalogued with the blackest sins?
Because if we honestly examine it, it is always and only the fruit of not really believing God's words, not really trusting His love and wisdom and power.
It is a bold, 'Yea, hath God said?'
I had been about to write quite differently of experiencing fear and yet how God is with you.
Of how fear may even be a gift - an instinct sensing you are in a dangerous situation.
Of the compassion of God in his care over us when we are scared, and in perhaps warning us of what we are going to experience to prepare us - if we did but realise he is speaking to us.
But let me backtrack...I have a story to tell you:
The scene opens on a very quiet London underground platform, around 8:30pm one Friday night. I say quiet because there was only about 6 people on the platform and there was no sound of trains at that moment. But for 3 of those people it was anything but quiet.
"I need money!"
The tall stranger was starting to get impatient, his voice rising aggressively.
He moved in closer to the small couple standing in front of him, spraying spit in their faces as he spoke.
"I need money....I'm homeless...look at me...I just need money so I can get a room at the hostel tonight".
Karen's heart was starting to race.
Her husband, David, was looking in his wallet as she glanced down at the man's clothes when he gestured to them.
She noticed how thin he was and the ragged waistband of his trousers. He seemed unable to stand straight which was bringing his face closer to theirs.
David had glanced at her in an unspoken message that they would try to give the man some cash but as he carefully turned his body towards Karen, shielding his wallet from the stranger she could see it was empty.
"Have you got any cash?" he asked in a low voice.
"No - none, I'm sorry. I don't often carry cash these days", she answered him, and then more loudly so that the stranger would hear, "I'm sorry, but we haven't got any".
"I need money! I need money! Go to a cashpoint and get some! Go and get some!"
The man was ordering them somewhat incoherently and Karen couldn't properly grasp what he was saying.
She remembered a time when she had apologised to a local 'Big Issue' seller that she hadn't got any change and also didn't want the Big Issue magazine. The seller had asked her to go to a nearby coffee shop and buy her a drink.
This was blurring into her mind with the man's demands and she was picturing going up to the station and buying some food for him and getting him some change.
But by now she was starting to sweat and feel extremely anxious.
She was very aware of their vulnerability as they shrank back into the wall of the underground platform, the empty train tracks and tunnel dark and dangerous behind the man.
She felt desperate to get away from the situation and interrupted her husband's apologies to the man - which weren't making any difference - he was just getting more agitated.
"We'll go upstairs and get some," she blurted out.
David looked at her in surprise, his face a little bewildered, but supporting her decision asked the man how much he needed.
"£40!", he declared, as they started moving down the platform, now appearing to suddenly be friendly, immediately asking David his name, thanking him, and pressing close to the couple as they started walking.
Karen, thought to herself, '£40?! I was thinking more like £10!', but then she heard the man, say, "£80, David. I need £80."
This was starting to feel like a nightmare to Karen and as a train was just pulling in, she suggested they all got on the train and they could get some money later.
The man immediately turned more aggressive and shouted that they weren't to get on the train. His body was between them and the train. People were now thickly milling all around them. There was no opportunity to make a quick dash.
"Okay, okay, we're coming," she quickly replied, but now found herself anxiously scanning the faces of people around her trying to make eye contact.
'Won't somebody help us?' she was desperately thinking. She met the eyes of a lady for a few seconds, who continued onto the train, pulled along by the general crush of people.
'Lord, help us,' she was silently praying, her legs now turned to jelly as she kept close to David.
"What's your name?" the man asked her, again spraying spit in her face.
"Karen", she muttered, but when the man leaned in closer, asking, "What's that's you said?" she more loudly said, "Give me some space please, you're scaring me".
Just then as she continued to urgently scan the faces of the people around them, most of whom seemed oblivious to the aggressive, noisy voice of the stranger and their plight, she met big brown eyes which were focusing on her intently.
A gentleman with a white stick was slowly moving towards them with the milling people and seemed to hear what she had said.
He looked at the tall stranger and seemed to pause and very slowly start turning back.
For a second Karen thought perhaps they were in league, working together but the tall stranger hadn't seemed to notice him.
As Karen passed him she looked into his intent brown eyes wordlessly voicing her fear and their need of help.
The gentleman started to slowly walk alongside them, limping.
"What's the matter with your leg?" the tall stranger asked him.
He held back a little and Karen and David moved forward onto the escalator. People were crowded onto the right hand side and the couple were able to step onto the empty left hand side and slowly take steps as the escalator moved them up, away from the platform.
"I'm so scared", she whispered to David, who pressed close to her in support as he was deeply thinking how they were going to manage this situation.
As they moved up the escalator she noticed the loud voice of the tall stranger becoming a little more distant as he talked to the gentleman with the brown eyes.
'What if they were to try to escape?' she suddenly thought.
Not daring to look behind her in case she caught the attention of the man she whispered again to David.
"I'm so scared! We've got to get away! Can't we make a run for it?"
There was no sign of any shops or British Rail staff who might have helped as they reached the top of the escalator, and David nodded in assent as they quietly got their bank cards ready in their hands.
Exiting the escalator the way was clear to the ticket barrier.
"Run!" they urgently whispered to each other.
Taking no regard for people around them, hands trembling, they pressed their cards to the exit machines almost holding their breath, praying that there would be no delay.
All worked smoothly and with relief they were able to pass through the barriers and run into the street outside.
"David!"
They heard the loud voice of the tall stranger booming from behind them.
Karan headed for the pedestrian crossing in front of her but David called her to run to the left. They ran along the side of the main road, busy with evening traffic.
The light from a takeaway shop shone out onto the pavement. It seemed to offer safety and a sense of normality as people waited for their orders amongst the sizzle of cooking food and hum of voices.
Karen darted inside, legs trembling, breath quick. David followed.
For a few seconds they stood there, until David carefully looking back up the road said there was no sign of the man but urged they should continue in case he came.
Leaving the shop they continued for a mile to the next station, running and half walking, gradually starting to feel a little safer but so shaken.
To be completed God Willing.
Comments
Post a Comment