"I will not let thee go, except thou bless me"
Genesis 32:28
Last week we started looking at these impassioned words, pleaded by a man called Jacob as he literally wrestled with God. Jacob was desperate for God's help. He was facing likely death at the hands of his own twin brother, Esau, and feared for the lives of his family too.
We considered how we too occasionally come into situations in which we feel desperate and helpless. Situations which no one can help us in. Situations which cause us internal anguish, fear, or hopelessness. When we go to God with these desperate needs and mentally, spiritually and emotionally struggle before Him in persistent verbal or incoherent prayer until we have His comfort, we are like Jacob who literally wrestled with God.
This week, let us next consider what these times of wrestling with God teach us individually:
These times bring us face to face with what and who we are. These desperate times are very personal. We cannot shrug them off as somebody else's problem. We cannot distract ourselves from them. They force us to see our character, our inadequacies, sins, and needs.
We see this in Jacob's request for a blessing. At this point in his encounter with God Jacob is no longer asking for safekeeping from Esau. It is as if he has gone a step deeper into his heart. The situation has brought him to pray, but does it actually just lift the lid off what is going on more deeply inside him? He begs for a blessing - that comfort and hope that he is loved and it will go well with him.
But was does the Angel say? 'He said unto him, 'What is thy name? And he said Jacob'.
I once heard a minister suggest that when Jacob had to say his name it was as if he was expressing and confessing all his guilt and sin. The name 'Jacob' means supplanter or deceiver. By answering that his name was Jacob it was as if he was owning up to all his deceptions and scheming throughout his life in his dealings with his brother and father.
Is this why it becomes so painful to us when in these desperate situations? Not only do we have the situation itself but underneath it we also have to face up to what we really are in God's sight?
Is it actually a blessing that God brings us to and uses these times in our lives that we might go to Him as we really are in our need - all the pretences taken away?
What would you and I be confessing, laying claim to, admitting to if God were to say to us today, 'What it your name?' What would we be having to own up to and accept responsibility for?
Imagine Jacob's shame as he confessed, 'I am the deceiver, the supplanter, the schemer'.
What is our shame? "I am the one who thought this...did this...said that..."
But then we have this great sign of God's mercy and forgiveness. He says, 'Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed'.
What encouragement this is to us to struggle, wrestle and confess in prayer with God! See how God did not despise and reject Jacob's heartfelt, desperate need. See how God transformed Jacob's heart and situation!
But the thought just comes - do we always 'prevail' like Jacob?
How easily do we give up ? Sometimes we have to leave off prayer and go to work or mix with other people, but still in our hearts we are silently praying to God to help us. We long to be alone again so we can give expression to it, but until then it is as a weight in our heart, a deep ache, pain or fear.
Dear reader, be of good comfort today and have hope. Continue in prayer, continue in telling God your need, continue in wrestling, don't give up, tell God your need to hear His voice, to hear His blessing to you. Know that whatever your circumstances, whatever your desperate need, God hears you, and will help you if you go to him confessing your sin, need and trust in Him.
And as we interact with those around us during the day, let us remember, that however they seem, they may be carrying a secret desperate cry for help in their hearts. Let us pray for that sensitivity, understanding and love to others, that we might be able to offer words or actions of comfort and reach out to them with kindness.
Next week God Willing we will complete these thoughts.
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