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Thou art to pass over Jordan this day, to go in to possess nations greater and mightier than thyself, cities great and fenced up to heaven, a people great and tall...of whom thou hast heard say, Who can stand before the children of Anak! Understand therefore this day, that the LORD thy God is he which goeth before thee...'
Deuteronomy 9:1-3
We started looking at these verses a few weeks ago, indicating that we wanted to talk of the Lord's compassion to us when we are fearful, and that he may even prepare us for frightening situations.
But then we were pulled up short by a morning reading in 'Seasons of the Heart' compiled by Donna Kelderman*, in which the sin of fear was described.
Before thinking more about this though we started sharing a story with you - a true account of a couple, who we have called Karen and David, who were molested for money as they waited on a London Underground Station.
We pick up the story where we left them - half running, half walking - alongside a main road in London, in the increasingly dark Friday evening.
.....
It hardly seemed possible that it was barely 45minutes earlier that Karen and David had been standing amongst fellow Christians for the closing prayer of a worship service.
Such had been her heart's feeling of praise and love to the Lord as they listened to the address and then sang Psalm 150, that Karen had silently whispered to the Lord that she didn't want to leave.
'Praise ye the LORD. God's praise within his sanctuary raise;
...Let each thing breathing praise the LORD.
Praise to the LORD give ye'
But they had had to say their goodbyes and start the journey home, hearts joyful and satisfied.
Then there was that moment that they had crossed over to a connecting underground platform. It had been quiet and still. The noise of the departing train at the previous platform had been fading into the distance, the passengers disappeared to the exit above.
Karen and David had both immediately noticed the tall scruffy stranger in the hooded grey top sitting on a seat nearby, body slumped, but strangely watchful of those entering the platform.
Something about him made them both feel uncomfortable and Karen had averted her eyes trying not to attract his attention.
With a feeling of dread, her heart sinking, Karen had heard his footsteps coming towards them, with the ensuing aggressive demands for money.
And now with hearts still racing they were quickly making their way along the pavement, their senses on heightened alert, feeling suspicious of every stranger they met in the dark of the evening.
The road suddenly seemed quieter with only the occasional car. Smells of cannabis wafted through the air. Laughter and the clink of glasses could be heard from nearby pubs.
They felt alone and lost as they hurried along. Karen, teeth chattering with fear clung to David's arm as he tried to locate where they were on google maps.
A man riding a delivery bike shot across their path as they started crossing a side street.
Karen jumped with a quiet shriek and the man spontaneously laughed. Karen reflected how to him this must seem a normal evening as he was out and about - whilst to her and David it felt sinister and evil.
As they hurried along, every now and then looking behind them to make sure they weren't being followed, David suddenly thought he recognised a tall building ahead of them.
As they got closer he was confident he knew where they were - the road they were running along, took them straight back to a station where they could get a direct overland train to near their car.
Exiting this train they were then able to get a bus nearer to their carpark, but then had to walk down a dark and lonely road to reach it.
Karen always dreaded this road and tonight it seemed especially dark. A van pulled up beside them and a man got out.
"I can't go down there", she said in fear.
"It's just a night worker", David tried to reassure her, "They do shift work around here". They continued on their way, passing a stationary car, the faces of two people inside just visible from the gloomy light of a nearby street lamp.
Karen could no longer pray coherently. All she could whisper was, "Jesus", over and over again. His name offering comfort and protection from the evil she thought was all around her.
They jogged the remainder of the road anxious to get to the safety and familiarity of their car, but reaching the security gates of the private carpark, David's key fob failed to work.
The high metal gates seemed to mock them as they looked through at their car, so near and yet unreachable.
"Open the gates, Lord", David cried, "Please open the gates".
Remembering he had another key they were able to open a smaller side gate and reach the car, thankfully falling in although feeling that they still had another hurdle to overcome.
Praying, they edged the car forward towards the closed gates, which suddenly, and so slowly started to open.
Thanking the Lord, doors locked, their bodies finally relaxing into the support of the seats, they were on the road home.
As they over and over recounted the events, the 'whys' and the 'what ifs', Karen suddenly exclaimed:
"The Lord knew this was going to happen! He told me about a tall man, who I would be scared of, but that he would be with us!
He must have sent the man with the brown eyes and the white stick who looked at us so intently!
He had prepared him to be there to distract the other man so we could escape - he might even have been an angel!
The Lord was looking after us!"
She told David how earlier that day as she stood washing up the lunch dishes she had felt apprehensive about the expected journey and visit into London that afternoon and evening.
Finding an audible Bible app on her phone she was led to choose Deuteronomy to listen to, and enjoyed listening to about eleven chapters.
As she walked to the station she thought about the words she had heard from chapter 9 verses 1-3: 'Thou art to pass over Jordan this day, to go in to possess nations greater and mightier than thyself, cities great and fenced up to heaven, a people great and tall...of whom thou hast heard say, Who can stand before the children of Anak! Understand therefore this day, that the LORD thy God is he which goeth before thee...'
God understands how we fear things she thought - things which seem as large to us as great fortified cities, people who are like tall giants. And yet he tells us how he will be with us and go before us.
He doesn't tell us that these big scary things aren't scary. But he tells us to go forward and promises that he will be with us.
She thought how sometimes we have to go forward in things which scare us to see how God is with us - to see how he will overcome our fears with what he will bring to pass.
She thought of difficult things which we cannot escape, which there is no way round, that we have to go through even though we feel so fearful about them - what a comfort this is that the Lord is with us and he doesn't condemn our fear, but instead encourages us and promises he is going before us.
Thinking what a nice subject this would be to talk about with other believers she carried on her way to London.
And then 'that' all happened.
Doesn't this remind us to take note of how the Lord is speaking to us through the day?
That feeling of apprehension, that hunger for the comfort of the Lord's voice in his word, that leading to Deuteronomy, that drawing of attention to those verses.
Does it remind us to be more watchful of these things?
Karen was so busy thinking what a nice subject this would make to write about that she failed to realise that perhaps God was preparing her for the scary forthcoming events.
Have you ever had times in your life which you can look back over and acknowledge that the Lord had somehow warned you or reassured you of the events that were going to happen?
How kind the Lord is to us!
How thankful Karen and David were when they reached home, tried to wash the feeling of the man's spit off their faces, thought of the Lord who suffered the spitting of soldiers in his face, and then how thankful they were to the Lord as they prayed together.
"I feel so guilty that we told the man we would help him and then we ran away", Karen said. "The poor man looked emaciated".
"I thought he was going to pull a knife on us", David said.
.....
So we are back where this post began, thinking of the Lord's compassion to us in our fears, and yet also thinking of that reading in 'Seasons of the Heart' and the thoughts regarding the sin of fear.
It comes to me like this: we fear many things - some of us more than others depending on our dispositions. But God knows our tendencies to fear, and pities and has compassion on us. The Bible is full of his promises and encouragement not to fear.
And yet there are accounts in the Bible where the Lord reproves us for being so fearful, because, yes it does stem from unbelief (which is a sin) doesn't it?
We think of the disciples in the storm on the sea of Galilee, with the Lord Jesus asleep in the boat with them. In their fear and distress they wake him telling him they are about to drown, but Jesus says, 'Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith' and calms the storm (Matthew 8:26).
We see sin here because they have the very Creator of the seas and wind in the boat with them - the created cannot destroy the Creator! All things are under his command. It showed their unbelief at who he was, and unbelief in his care for them.
But would we have been any different? Are we not like the disciples, who had not yet come to true belief and faith in who the Lord Jesus is?
We think of Moses and the escaping Israelites - thousands of them, all standing at the edge of the Red Sea, surrounded by mountains and the Egyptians hot on their tail. There was nowhere to escape. How great was their fear.
After having seen so many miracles in Egypt the people could be accused of sinning in unbelief of God's power to now deliver them, and sinning in their anguished complaints to Moses that he had brought them there to die.
God says to Moses, 'Wherefore criest thou unto me? speak unto the children of Israel, that they go forward' (Exodus 14:15) - as if to say, 'Why are you still crying to me? You have just told the Israelites not to be fearful and that I will fight this battle for them - well tell them to go forward so that I can!'
But then we think of Jairus, urgently waiting for the Lord to come and heal his desperately ill young daughter. When Jairus gets the news that she has died and it is too late, Jesus immediately turns to him and says, 'Fear not: believe only, and she shall be made whole' (Luke 8:50).
And soon after Jesus raises her to life.
So, whilst there may be instances where fear stops us going forward in the Lord's will, stops us trusting that he is with us (and consequently causes us to sin), yet we have a great compassionate and loving Heavenly Father, who knows that we are human, who knows of 'the terror by night' (Psalm 91:5), and may use our sense of fear as an instinct to cause us to flee danger, to prompt us to turn to him and call on him and find refuge in him.
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