Today we continue with our study of the relationship of Biblical King David of Israel and his warrior nephews, Abishai, Joab and Asahel, the sons of his sister Zeruiah.
David at one time lamented that his nephews were - despite him being king- too hard for him, and he committed them to God for His judgement.
So far we have seen how they challenged David by:
We too have challenging, hard people in our lives and we considered what lessons David's experiences could teach us.
But today, we see another aspect of David's relationship with his nephew Joab, and it can teach us how other people may be too hard for us in regard to the influence they have on us and how we can let our standards slip.
(You can read about this in 2 Samuel 11)
Joab and the army (of which he was commander) were away fighting the Ammonites.
David had stayed behind in Jerusalem where he gave into temptation and committed adultery with one of his soldier's wives, Bathsheba.
When Bathsheba sent David a message to say that she had conceived, David quickly initiated a plan to cover up that the baby was his.
He firstly sent a message to Joab, who was besieging the Ammonites' royal city, Rabbah. He requested that Joab send him Bathsheba's husband, Uriah, one of his 'mighty men' (2 Samuel 23:39).
When Uriah arrived David then pretended that he had sent for him for an update on the battle but then he twice tried to get Uriah to visit his wife, no doubt hoping that this would result in intimacy with Bathsheba and her pregnancy being ascribed to Uriah's visit home.
Uriah though, was an honourable man who would not go home and enjoy his comforts and his wife whilst his comrades were camping out in the open fields of war, instead he slept at the door of the palace with David's servants.
His plan having failed David then wrote another message for Joab, which he sent back via Uriah who returned to the battle.
"Set ye Uriah in the forefront of the hottest battle, and retire ye from him, that he may be smitten, and die" (2 Samuel 11:15).
On this occasion we don't read of any hesitation from Joab, or any questioning of David's request or judgement. He loyally carries out David's orders and sends a message to tell him. David then messages an insincere reply back to Joab not to be upset for these things happen in warfare, "the sword devoureth one as well as another" (verse 25).
God has decreed that this account of David's sins should be on record for us. David, was called a man after God's own heart. God loved David and David loved Him in return, but like us he still had a sinful heart which could lust after another man's wife, commit adultery, scheme up a plan to cover-up his sin, order an innocent man's murder and pretend to comfort to deceive others.
(God didn't leave David unrepentant of his sins though and the consequences brought much trouble for David, but God was very merciful in sparing his life and forgiving him).
Although David was responsible for his own crimes and actions here, Joab didn't seem to care enough about what was being asked of him to challenge David - perhaps it seems contradictory to suggest he should have done seeing that last month we were noticing Joab's disrespect to David's judgement and authority, but David was requesting murder of an innocent loyal soldier, one of his top warriors.
Was Joab just being a loyal obedient soldier or was Joab's 'hardness' of character a compliance to David's sin?
In Proverbs 22:24-25 and 1 Corinthians 15:33 we read:
'Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare for thy soul'
'Be not deceived: evil communications (or company) corrupt good manners' (or habits).
The Bible tells us that becoming friends with or spending time with people who are angry or dubious characters may make us become like them.
David was perhaps taking advantage of Joab's character to ask him to do something which another man might have questioned or challenged. Was David relying on his authority as king for Joab's obedience, or was he lowering his standard because he knew that Joab would be compliant with it?
We can only speculate - David was already on a downward path of mistakes and trying to cover-up with yet more sin, but it does warn us to think about who we make friends with and spend our time with lest we become more like them. We may think our own 'good character' will keep us from letting our standards slide, but the Bible tells us otherwise.
This Biblical wisdom has been reflected in the saying that we each become the average of the five people we spend most time with.
Let us think about that - who do we spend the majority of our time with?
Are these people Christian and God honouring people?
Do we want to become like them?
Perhaps we have to spend most of our time with people who are not Christian in the workplace.
I remember very soon after the Lord had called me to give Him my heart that I was finishing work one day. Being with those who had no obvious love to Him and His ways contributed to a distancing and feeling of being far off from my God.
Where was the softness of heart and love towards Him that I had been so full of in recent weeks? Where had my sense of the Lord's presence in my heart gone?
Going directly from work to a thanksgiving service at a local place of worship I sat through the first part continuing to feel far off from God and so sad at this change, but then the minister announced his text:
'Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts' (Jeremiah 15:16).
I struggled to contain and conceal my tears as the minister preached of God's word which was as very food to my soul, as my heart softened and went out to the Lord in love and praise. I marvelled that others sitting with me appeared outwardly unmoved by the delights of what was being preached. I felt returned to my place of adoring and feeding at the feet of Jesus.
We have to live in this world where people do not believe in or love or serve Jesus. They may be decent moral people, or they may be more unscrupulous. But how are we to be protected from their influence and standards and from the deadening effect that this can have on our hearts? Should we try harder to keep ourselves 'good'?
Before being converted I lived a life of trying to be outwardly very good and moral, but when tempted and surrounded by those who were not Christians I became more like them. Like David I allowed 'my standards' to slip. Their example and influence was 'too hard' for me to withstand.
A colleague said to me one day, 'I thought you were such an angel when you first worked here', and she was glad that I was now demonstrating that I was like them.
What are we then to do?
Do you remember how Moses' face shone after he had spent time with God? And do you remember how after Jesus had died, come alive, and gone to heaven, a religious council called some of his disciples to stand before them and 'marvelled' at the bold declarations of such uneducated and 'ignorant men'; and they took knowledge that they had been with Jesus' (Acts 4:13)?
Dear reader, we like David are human beings with lustful, sinful hearts. If we go to places of temptation, or spend time with people who do not love and seek to serve God or have lower moral standards we are likely to find that it will, like the sons of Zeruiah, be too hard for us.
But, we have a great God who is pure, holy and all powerful. For our faces and lives to shine and witness of Him, His people - like Moses and the disciples - need to spend time with Him.
Instead of being like David at this time who was lingering, perhaps in idleness in the ease and safety of Jerusalem we need to be up and following the Lord in the path that He would have us go, a path of striving to keep close to Him by prayer and study of His word, by worship and listening for His voice.
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We need to pray as David at another time did that God will uphold us, keep us safe and observing of His ways (Psalm 119:117).
We need to constantly pray to be kept from temptation, to be delivered from evil, for our hearts to be quickened - revived - and kept alive, hungry and thirsty for God and His ways.
We need to pray to be kept from wrong friendships and company which may have a bad influence on us and we need to be discerning how we spend our time - like the blessed man of Psalm 1 who avoids walking, standing and sitting in ungodly ways.
As the Lord Jesus Christ told His disciples, 'for without me ye can do nothing' (John 15:5).
Do we have situations and people whose influence is too hard for us to withstand?
Let us go to Jesus, the 'Vine', that we - his branches - may draw strength, life and guidance from Him, that we may become more like Him and not be influenced to do wrong or 'let our standards slip'.
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